Thursday, April 22, 2010
To Be or Not To Be?
That REALLY is the question.
Right now, I am in a loving and very fulfilling relationship, which makes me very happy. As time goes on, I am learning that happiness is very important, no matter what.
From past experiences, I have also learnt not to settle. You will not catch me settling for some guy because he has money, or because he is cute. Everyone is different, but this is MY blog, so I say how I feel. Why marry a guy you KNOW will cheat on you? My past relationships have had good times, but the bad times outweighed the good, and I refuse to put myself through unhappiness, depression, and insecurity again because I don't want to be alone.
I say this, and some people might think that I am crazy: I'D RATHER BE SINGLE AND HAPPY THAN MARRIED AND UNHAPPY.
My mother and I were talking about Nigerian women (and women in general) and their husbands who cheat on them. I asked why they stay. And this is what my mother said:
"You have to think about it like it's a business transaction. What do you have to lose? If you leave him, and you have nothing, why bother? You are better off staying with him and spending his money, while he goes off and does his own thing. If you have your own money, then go ahead and leave him, and do YOUR thing. A lot of the women my [mother's] age didn't have anything when they got married, so they have a lot to lose (financially) if they leave their husbands."
As this beautiful woman was talking, I was praying to God that He should:
1) Make me rich
2) Give me a man who is faithful
Because if He doesn't, e be like say Imma be on my own. Seriously! I remember the heartache I went through in my past relationship, and the thought of it just makes my heart sink. I get really sad, and then I get mad...at myself. For staying and taking such rubbish.
But then it was just dating. Marriage is a different story. If the guy is cheating, it is worse because you can't leave. Marriage vows say, "For better or worse...'til death do you part." The Bible says in black and white, "Do not commit adultery" (Ex. 20:14). But if he/she commits adultery, you still have to stay. Ugh! Things just gotta be complicated for no reason.
To cut the long story short, DO NOT CHEAT. I don't know why you gotta have your cake and eat it too. You chose this man/woman to spend the rest of your life with, now do the right thing and be faithful. Easier said than done, right? But with God, all things are possible. Put Him first, and there won't be a problem.
A lot of things can be avoided if God is put first. He will give you someone who is compatible spiritually, financially, emotionally etc. I am not worried about getting married because I trust what He has planned, whether it is to stay single or to be married (1 Cor. 7:1-40 really breaks it down for us).
Sorry if it sounds like I am preaching, but that's the only way I can get the message across.
I pray everyone finds that "person", the one who God has designed SPECIALLY FOR YOU. Because that's all I want. And with constant prayer and walking with God, that's what I'll get.
Good night all.