Friday, May 18, 2012

Fear not...

The picture to the left shows exactly how I have been feeling the past few weeks. So much is going on, you wonder how things will work out. When will I get a job? How will I live? What am I going to eat? If you're in a relationship, you wonder what the next step is.

We are human beings, it is natural to worry. We try to use our power to try and fix things, and when they do not go as planned, we worry. Now that I am in this place of self-discovery - realizing and living out my purpose - I've been doing a lot of thinking. So much thinking, that I start to freak out. A few days ago, I was driving, and I started to thinking about my goals, and what God's purpose is for me. Then I started crying! The tears just would not nose was blocked, and it was getting difficult to see the road. I cannot remember the last time I cried that much. It became difficult to pray. I was in a place of anger, confusion, doubt, and most importantly, fear. I have been afraid before, but this time was very different. My stomach started to hurt, and I felt sick.

I had a conversation with my aunt, and as a Christian and doctor, she shed some light on things you could do:
  • Read your Bible! - Matthew 6:27 says, "Can all your worries add a single moment to your life?" It made me realize that all the time you spend worrying about things, you've lost valuable time. You waste time by being upset over stuff you cannot do anything about, things only God can change. Worrying gets you nowhere. 
It gives the devil a chance to mess with your mind and to make you doubt God. When that happens, the result is never good. You try to do things within your power, and most times, it does not work out the way you would like. Even if it does, happiness is hardly a result. You want to take control of your life, instead of giving it to the One who gave you life. You get to that end point, and you realize: all this fighting for nothing.

Joyce Meyer puts it perfectly in her devotion: "Jesus tells us to 'calm down' in John 14:27 an 'cheer up' in John 16:33. I think it is a one-two knockout punch to the devil when we do. When you realize you can't fix everything, that calms you down, and when you know that God can, it cheers you up!"
  • Exercise! - This is one of my favorite hobbies. My favorite type of exercise is dancing. I can dance all day. Research shows that when we dance for a long time, mood-lifting hormones are released.  "Physical activities, from sprinting to ballet, also release endorphins, brain chemicals that promote satisfaction, euphoria, and high pain tolerance", says the article. The problem will not go away immediately, but you feel better.
I tend to handle situations better after I break a sweat. As crazy as this sounds, the situation may not have changed, but your outlook on it changes.

  • Be Positive! - What we say and what you think about certain situations can affect how you view these situations. What kinds of things do you say to yourself? Slowly wean yourself off negative thoughts. One thing that I have learnt is that you must be careful about what you say out loud. I always think that someone is listening, so I try to be careful about talking negatively. 
If you are looking for a job, try not to ask, "Why can I not get a job?" because your mind will start to come up with self-demeaning responses like "You do not have enough experience", or "You are too old". When you speak positive things and ask better questions. Once you start asking questions like, "How can I earn enough money to support myself?", your mind starts to look for solutions. When you start thinking positively, watch how much better you feel.

Being positive also means surrounding yourself with positive people, people who truly care about you. They will lift you up with encouraging words, and get your mind off your problems for a little bit. Nothing like being surrounded by love and laughter.

With what I am going through, I am definitely doing these things. I know that things are going to get better, it is just a matter of time, and patience. Be encouraged everyone, and have a fabulous, WORRY-FREE weekend! :)

Sunday, May 13, 2012


"Persistence is a vital link to obtaining victory." - Joyce Meyer.

I know that I have not posted anything in a while. So much has happened in the past year that I did not get a chance to write as much as I should.

Joyce Meyer's "Promises for Your Everyday Life" is something I look forward to reading everyday. There is always something that sticks with me. The quote at the beginning definitely applies to me and what I've been going through the past few months.

For the past 27 years of my life, I have been running away from something that has been in my blood. Somethings that comes naturally to me. What I was meant to be doing.


My father was a famous journalist in Nigeria, and after his death, I made a conscious decision to not do any type of journalism. I refused to study it (Studied Statistics and got my MBA...could I have run any further?!), but I still kept journal upon journal and wrote poems. But one thing I found myself doing more was editing. It irks me when something is poorly written. My eye for detail always found the most random mistakes in articles or papers. I cannot take someone seriously if they can't write/spell well. I always felt that sentences should not be more than two lines long; run-on sentences are a no-no; and if you cannot spell, or do not know the meaning of the word, do not use that word. The world would be a much better place if people followed these basic rules.

A few months ago, I spoke to a mentor of mine who pushed me into going to a writer's conference in New York City. I knew that my life was going to be different the moment I clicked "register". I have never been so nervous in my life. Doing this proved that all I had to do was take that first step, even though you may not see the whole staircase. Is that not what faith is?

The American Society of Journalists and Authors Conference was a two-day writers' bootcamp where you attended different breakout sessions about different types of writing. I was more concerned about which editors I was going to meet, what I was going to say, and how I could make these people love me. My mentor, Jackie Dishner, had this amazing quote in one of her blog posts:
"It's just best to follow the command when it first begins to make appearance. Otherwise, you can expect further annoyances - and failures that will make you doubt who you are. That's because you're not behaving like the you that you really are or were meant to be."
I felt like we were having this amazing one-on-one conversation...and we had not even met!

The first day was overwhelming. I was nervous, afraid, but incredibly excited. I learned so much, and I met so many amazing people. The second day was so much better, and I met even more people. They were so helpful in giving me information on what my next steps should be. I got so many business cards, and I gave so many of mine out too! Things seemed to be looking up.

But then, reality set in. I got home, and I found myself in this abyss of confusion. Okay, I know that the first thing to do is follow-up with the people I met, but then, what else I can do? OMG, am I doing the right thing? Is this really it?

I have been having those "far away from God" moments. I have not been praying and reading my Bible as much as I should be. So I was confused and unhappy.

I was expecting everything to change overnight. I would be hired as a copy editor for a magazine, I would be making so much money. Yes, it is naive, but cut me some slack here. I was on this high of finding my purpose, so I was expecting it to be smooth sailing from here. Then I saw the quote by Joyce Meyer, and it all made sense.

Persistence is the vital link to victory.

If I can apply it to working out, surely I can apply it to other important areas of my life. I do not know why I am so scared. If God has called me to this, then surely He has already made the path. I just need to take that first step...well, not the first step, but the next step.

I am pretty sure something's going to give. Something has to give. This is what I'm supposed to do.

As I go on this journey, I hope you will come with me. Be expecting more updates and more blog posts, because things are about to get really interesting.