"Born To Run"

Today is my father's 24th anniversary.

Twenty-four years ago, the man I called "Daddy" was killed by a letter bomb. How heartless can someone be? We will get to that later.

Pulitzer-Prize winning journalist Dele Olojede wrote a book about my father. "Born to Run - The Story of Dele Giwa" was written in 1987 and it gives details about him that I never knew about. I read about what he went through growing up, and how he got to be one of the most famous men in Nigeria.

The book was very interesting to read. I loved how the writers made you feel like you were part of the events. The conversations my father had with his best friends, with the ladies (did not know he was suave like that...lol) - especially my mother, and with political leaders.

It's funny to see how he was friends with IBB (he was president at the time, and suspected of killing my father), but when the "truth"got out, IBB turned on him. Too much power is not good for anyone.

I was one year old on October 19, 1986, but I don't remember anything. All I know are the stories my mother and everyone else tells me, the pictures that she gave me, and from the book. I strongly believe that I am alive for a reason. I could have been in the study with him and his friend.

God has a plan for everyone. I believe the only reason he died that day was because his purpose had been fulfilled: he left behind five beautiful children, a magazine that did VERY well, and a legacy that NO ONE can touch. To think that this happened twenty-four years ago, and looking at the condition Nigeria is in, I really don't see a difference.

Here is an example:

I read about Cecilia Ibru, the former managing director and CEO of Oceanic International Bank Plc, and how she was arrested for so many crimes, that if I start, I won't stop. She gets six months. SIX MONTHS. There is something very wrong with this. We all know that she will not stay there six months, because she will get out in four due to "good behavior", or a "deteriorating health condition". Bernie Madoff got 150 years. That is just wrong.

And the fact that IBB is running for President in 2012................................................................................I'll leave it at that.

How do you kill someone??? With a letter bomb?? WHY? HOW do you sleep well at night, knowing that you were involved in murder? Call me naive, but maybe I just have a conscience and I have the Holy Spirit dwelling in me, because it really blows my mind the way people think sometimes.

When my father's case went to court, IBB refused to testify. How does that work? Shows that Nigeria has a LONG way to go. All we can do is pray. Pray that justice is done. Pray that Nigeria becomes a better country. Pray that all the wrong people in power will one day pay for every single thing that they have done. Pray that God has mercy on us as a country, because we have SO much potential.

Daddy, I wish I had the chance to meet you and get to know you, because knowing the respect and love people still have for you after 24 years is amazing. I hope you are proud of your children and what we have become and I hope that you are having a great time in Heaven with God because I know that is where you are. Also, I just wanted to say that it's not over. The people who did this WILL suffer, and your death will not be in vain. Continue resting in peace Daddy, and I love you.

Sumonu Oladele "Baines" Giwa

(March 16, 1947 - October 19, 1986)

"another a$$ pic?" "no, that's my stomach"

That's what my friend said to me when he saw my BBM picture. And that did something to me. Although he didn't mean what he said, it made me think twice about my gymming, or lack thereof.

Ever since the surgery, I have been so lazy with my workout regime. My two-a-days have become three times a week. I love the treadmill, but I need motivation. I see gorgeous Naomi Campbell, stunning Selita Ebanks, beautiful Gisele (who has a child by the way, and she still looks like that), or even Ms. Halle Berry (by the way, apparently some of these women have never stepped foot in the gym) and I think "what if?" what if I push myself, will I lose the 15 lbs I have been tryin to lose since April? What if I just stop working out, what would happen? Ok, that's a stupid question. But still...........

In my family, all the women are full-figured. They are real African women - the hips, the butt....and as sexy as that sounds, when they are in excess, it's not as sexy. I love the women in my family, but I don't want to reach that point. I CAN'T reach that point. Even if it means working out for the rest of my life. Now to find different types of exercise, because I gotta stay lookin' good. 

Now a lot of y'all might think I'm insecure (I'm not), and I shouldn't worry about it (I should), and I look good (I know). But I have to be careful, otherwise I will have the hips and ass - in excess.

I love my curves, I know that I will NEVER be stick thin. This a$$ is not going anywhere, that's for damn sure.

VMA Madness

Hello all!

It has been a while, I know. I was busy with school, two internships, moving....a whoooole bunch of stuff. But now, I can semi-breathe and talk to y'all.

So like, y'all know, the 2010 VMAs were yesterday. Personally, I was ready for some crazy stuff, but the whole thing just left me so *blah*. So let me get into what I liked, and didn't like, and what I thought was just plain random:

-Nicki Minaj, PLEASE what in the name of ass injecting, Bjork pink hair, stupid ASS song hell were you doing at the pre-show? First of all, I didn't understand what she was talking about (I don't think I ever will), and then you bring Will-I'm-Not on the stage....looking like he spent 12980983474598739873475353 days on the beach...homie was BLUCK, not blAck, BLUCK...I think he's talented, but that performance...in short, that just left me with a -_- face.

-Chelsea Handler, I was expecting so much more from you!! I think Ellen Degeneres' ONE joke when she presented "Best Female Video" was better than her hosting. Come to think of it, why didn't they pick Ellen? She had some funny parts (tryna remember some, and it's JUST not coming to me). It's cool that it was the first time in 16 years that they had a woman host the show, but I'm sure even Sarah Silverman could have done a better job......and she's not funny.

-The stage setup this year was CRAZY...

-Were we supposed to be surprised that Rihanna performed? I wasn't. What was she wearing? She needs more people. And Jesus.

-Jersey Shore...the fact that MTV has blown these 8 trashy, overtanned NFA (no future ambition) lamos to epic proportions still boggles my mind. Yes, I do watch Jersey Shore, cuz it just makes me feel better that these 8 trashy, overtanned NFA lamos exist, and I know that I am destined for much better things in life.

-I liked B.o.B's performance. Nothing to write home about, but it was aite.

-Lady Gaga...Lady Gaga...Lady Gaga....how many times did I call your name? The VMAs might as well have been the "2010 Lady Gaga VMAs". Did she not win like every category except Best New Artist (and that was because she wasn't on the list...)???? And she wore MEAT. I think I'm going to become a vegetarian.

On second thought, no one will make me turn away from my steak, chicken, or fish. Sorry.

-And finally, the reason why everyone watched the show: Kanye West. His performance left me speechless, and I'm still trying to figure out if that's a good thing or a bad thing. The ballerinas were just there to occupy space. His song was funny. The guy from the Clipse was still trying to prove to everyone that he is still relevant.

I think that's all I have about this year's show. All in all, I would give it a 6. Not bad, not good. Just there.

Readers, what were YOUR favorite and not-so-favorite moments?

I will be blogging more often. I know I say that a lot, but I have 3 weeks of doing nothing, so you will hear from me a lot more.

What's Goin' On?!

Hey people,

A lot has been going on...I started summer school, I got back on my #exercisefreak tip (I am SO happy about that), and other things I do not wish to put on blast on the Internet.

But outside of my own lil' unimportant life, the most random things have been happening/have happened:

The World Cup is over!!! Now what am I going to do? It was fun for that month watching all the matches, and screaming at the TV with my bro and boyfriend. One second, they are just dribbling around and the ref is making stupid calls (That referee from Mali.............................enough said); the next second, two goals have been scored. I am going to miss all that. Something needs to be done. Maybe I need to start getting hype about Manchester United again....*drums fingers on table*

Lebron James is now on the Miami Heat. Personally, I really didn't care. But it was amazing just watching the whole world hold their breath on who Lebron was going to choose. Homie even had an HOUR on ESPN to talk about his decision. Shoot, I need to be famous so that the whole world can stop because of ME. Even Dan Gilbert was mad as all hell...people need to calm down. You should be happy for the guy. You were clearly looking out for yourself...LOL..it's okay Dan.

...and while this was going on...

Oscar Grant's killer is guilty for only involuntary manslaughter. After watching the video, I didn't know what to say. Screw procedure. Homie did not have a gun. Johannes Mersehle, you killed someone. That's someone's child. An apology will not bring him back. The jury found Johannes Mehserle guilty of involuntary manslaughter, and not guilty of both the second-degree murder and voluntary manslaughter charges. From Sean Bell to this, when will it stop?

...and still going on...

BP needs to step their game up.

Christina Milian and The-Dream separated. First Halle Berry, then Christina Milian...ummm, is there any hope for us women? I mean, money and talent can make ANY man hot and can take him places. But a woman's looks can only go so far. If you don't have the brains to go with it, the man will find it somewhere else...all about the whole package.

...and then the most random thing...

A "picture" of Nigerian artist Wande Coal leaked out. It was so bad to the point that he was #1 trending topic on Twitter. I had to ask my boyfriend if he died, because I don't understand why a picture that may not be him was such a big deal. Whoever the chick is, go to school, get a job, in fact, GET A LIFE. That's all. And Wande Coal, if that IS you, it's not by force to sleep with all your groupies...smh. Girls are crazy. Rub them the wrong way, and you just may see a naked picture of yourself online.

As you can see, so much important and unimportant stuff has happened. I promise to blog more often.

ADG™

Rape-aXe: anti-Rape or pro-Murder?

When you look at that, what do you see? I see torture. I see one BIG mistake. Don't get me wrong, rape is WRONG WRONG WRONG, but if this is the way to catch the perp, ummmm...you are only pushing the man to kill the woman.

And clearly, this is only for male rapists. There ARE female rapists out there, but I guess for Sonnette Ehlers, she is protecting the women in South Africa - where this was created.

This is Rape-aXe, an anti-rape condom worn by a woman like it is a tampon. If she is attacked and the perp is trying to escape, the razor sharp barbs will attach to the penis, making it extremely painful for the perp. He will not be able to walk or pee, and it has to be surgically removed by a doctor.

So much sounds so wrong there.

1) Razor sharp barbs????!

2) Surgically removed by the doctor????!

3) Razor sharp barbs?????!

I don't even have a penis, and all I can say is OUCH!!! So this doesn't even PREVENT rape, it just stops it from the guy doing it a second time. They were handing this thing out during a World Cup match y'all!!! I don't know what I would do if I saw it. The woman can't even remove it herself, she has to go to a doctor. But wait...a woman puts it on, walking around with this thing. I mean, where is she going to go get raped? I know NO ONE asks to get hurt (unless you stupid), but it's like wearing Rape-aXe you are daring someone to hurt you. Like whaaa....? I don't even know what to say about this anymore.

On the website's Q&A section (her responses stay crackin' me up..."He will have some explaining to do to his wife or girlfriend how he encountered those scars"...LMAO), someone pointed out that HIV/AIDS could spread, and Ehlers said that the sheath of the condom protects any leakage into the woman. First of all, call me ignorant, or just plain stubborn, but I refuse to believe that. Are you serious??? Should the woman worry about AIDS when she's probably gonna be dead after the guy has killed her?!

I'm still trying to get past the razor sharp barbs.

I know some people will have some things to say about this new contraption. So comment.

Oh and if you like, check out the Rape-aXe website.

ADG™

The Other (Wo)man

I know it has been a while since I blogged. I have been a busy bee with school. And now that it is over (got my A!!), I am gonna be all over this blog like white on rice. There's quite a bit to talk about, so bear with me as you see a plethora of topics.

Going back to something I blogged about a while back, I have decided to continue on that subject. When the husband cheats on the wife who has decided to stay with him, the woman he is cheating with is what we black folk call a "home wrecker". Don't get me wrong, this word is unisex, because women cheat too. But I will be speaking from a female point of view. This "home wrecker"...well...wrecks homes. She comes into a "happy" home, and starts sleeping with the husband. As time goes on, the husband starts to come home late, pick unnecessary fights with his wife, and just generally abandons his family. The home wrecker has taken the wife's place.

But does the woman not realize that it will happen to her? I mean, what made her think she was special? If they were meant to be together, I'm sorry, but he would have been with her in the first place. Now, men don't even wait for their divorces to be final before they are seen with other women. Homegirl can't even wait.

This has been happening for years, but no one has been talking about it. A spouse cheats, and people look the other way (like my mother's generation). And then we have the celebrities who feel like because they have money, all sense of morality is gone. From Gabrielle Union (never liked the chick anyway) to our favorite "Superwoman" Alicia Keys (my respect for her has gone from up there to negative infinity), these women think that it's okay. Dang, wait for the divorce to be final!!! Sheesh...fair enough, it looks like Dwyane Wade's ex-wife is on some other crazy ish, but still don't make it right for Gabby to just screw someone else's man. Alicia on the other hand....girrrrrl, for that child's sake, I hope you are the last baby mama/wife. Cuz poor baby got three other half- brothers and sisters, and 3's a crowd, don't you think?

I have been the home wrecker before. Back in my naive days. When I had no care in the world but my own. I was dating a guy who had a girlfriend, and after some time, he left her for me. I was so happy because I felt so special. Here I was thinking that we would be together forever. A few months later, he meets someone else, and I was left alone. I tell ya, Karma didn't have mercy on me. That b*tch bit me HARD in my toosh. And it hurt. So anyone who decides to take upon that role of "home wrecker", beware, it may feel and look all good and sweet in the beginning, but it never ends well. You may end up with the man, but trust you are not special. He will do it again. And trust me, I have no bit of bitterness. It's just the truf.

What say ye, readers? Please comment.

ADG

Is It Your Body...?

People who know me, know that I am OBSESSED with the gym...they know that I love the treadmill, and I will do boot camp classes everyday if I had the money (I can't wait to be rich, first thing I pay for is a year-long gym membership...packed with different classes to take..I canNOT wait!!)

Anyway, I digress. I went to dinner with a couple of friends, and they were telling me how good I looked, that I had put on weight, and I looked "healthy". Anyone who is conscious about the way they look know that "healthy" is just a nice way of saying "fat". I got curves now, I'm 5'10, and I don't look fat. In fact, I am not fat. Fair enough, when they saw me a couple of months back at a restaurant, my cheekbones were protruding like I hadn't eaten in days (I had just eaten before going to the restaurant! Yes, I love food..and what?!)

After they said that (we were at Nando's, I got two pieces of chicken, fried rice AND mashed potatoes), I started to think about my goals health-wise. What did I want to look like? How much do I want to lose? etc. blah blah. yaddi yaddi yadda.

Fair enough, the surgery really set me back about 15 pounds. I couldn't work out for a MONTH, and all I did in that month was eat like I was going to prison for life and I was never going to see good food again (random comparison, but hey, you get the point). Now that I am working out, I am really trying to get back into the swing of things. I used to go to boot camp sessions, I think I am going to start that again, because I do not like the way I look. I want to lose 10 pounds (AND KEEP IT OFF), I want those nice abs I had before. I want my thighs to shrink a couple inches. The body I have now is the body I want after I have kids. I have no children, I should not be looking like this. Call me crazy, but I am not. I am not anorexic. I KNOW I am not bulimic, don't believe in that crap. Those girls are crazy. I still love to eat, but I also love to work out. I just need to work out more. But I can't push myself just yet. Hopefully in the next month or so, I have stepped my gym game up and I am back to how I used to look.


Let's look at Naomi Campbell. Imagine if she put on about 30 pounds. She wouldn't look nice. And if you look at Crystal Renn (who used to be skinny, but is now a plus-size model), she didn't look nice when she was skinny, but she is STUNNING and "healthy" now. So it depends on the person, and what they are comfortable in. I know I will be comfortable in a 155-160 pound body.

See that picture of Naomi Campbell? Add about 12 pounds, and that's what I want. I will get there. Watch me.

Okay, going back to this paper. Hope you guys are well. How I miss blogging. Will get back to it in 3 weeks. Hopefully, I am inspired to blog.

To Be or Not To Be?

That REALLY is the question.

Right now, I am in a loving and very fulfilling relationship, which makes me very happy. As time goes on, I am learning that happiness is very important, no matter what.

From past experiences, I have also learnt not to settle. You will not catch me settling for some guy because he has money, or because he is cute. Everyone is different, but this is MY blog, so I say how I feel. Why marry a guy you KNOW will cheat on you? My past relationships have had good times, but the bad times outweighed the good, and I refuse to put myself through unhappiness, depression, and insecurity again because I don't want to be alone.

I say this, and some people might think that I am crazy: I'D RATHER BE SINGLE AND HAPPY THAN MARRIED AND UNHAPPY.

My mother and I were talking about Nigerian women (and women in general) and their husbands who cheat on them. I asked why they stay. And this is what my mother said:

"You have to think about it like it's a business transaction. What do you have to lose? If you leave him, and you have nothing, why bother? You are better off staying with him and spending his money, while he goes off and does his own thing. If you have your own money, then go ahead and leave him, and do YOUR thing. A lot of the women my [mother's] age didn't have anything when they got married, so they have a lot to lose (financially) if they leave their husbands."

As this beautiful woman was talking, I was praying to God that He should:
1) Make me rich
2) Give me a man who is faithful

Because if He doesn't, e be like say Imma be on my own. Seriously! I remember the heartache I went through in my past relationship, and the thought of it just makes my heart sink. I get really sad, and then I get mad...at myself. For staying and taking such rubbish.

But then it was just dating. Marriage is a different story. If the guy is cheating, it is worse because you can't leave. Marriage vows say, "For better or worse...'til death do you part." The Bible says in black and white, "Do not commit adultery" (Ex. 20:14). But if he/she commits adultery, you still have to stay. Ugh! Things just gotta be complicated for no reason.

To cut the long story short, DO NOT CHEAT. I don't know why you gotta have your cake and eat it too. You chose this man/woman to spend the rest of your life with, now do the right thing and be faithful. Easier said than done, right? But with God, all things are possible. Put Him first, and there won't be a problem.

A lot of things can be avoided if God is put first. He will give you someone who is compatible spiritually, financially, emotionally etc. I am not worried about getting married because I trust what He has planned, whether it is to stay single or to be married (1 Cor. 7:1-40 really breaks it down for us).

Sorry if it sounds like I am preaching, but that's the only way I can get the message across.

I pray everyone finds that "person", the one who God has designed SPECIALLY FOR YOU. Because that's all I want. And with constant prayer and walking with God, that's what I'll get.

Good night all.

Where's the Fire...?

I have been meaning to write this post for the longest time, but I have been so busy with school. I have this beautiful 1700-word paper to write about cultural differences and culture shock. Too much information, not enough drive to write. I'm seriously hoping that the paper will write itself...it won't? No? *Sigh* I will get back to it soon...UGH!!

Anyway, I digress.

I don't know if it's just me, but over the past few years people have been getting engaged/married at the drop of a hat. Yes, we are at that age...but does that mean we must marry by force?

I know of so many people (and I have heard so many stories) who dated for the usual two and a half years (sometimes more), got engaged, and got married...................................................then divorced two years later. And you wonder where they went wrong. There are women who are surrounded by friends who are engaged, and they feel that they must be next. So they start hinting to their boyfriends that marriage is the next step. The guy feels the pressure, you finally marry, and then three months into it, there are problems. Can I just ask you a question: where is the fire?

Seriously, what is the rush? Just because you are at that age, doesn't mean that is your time.

Don't get me wrong there are some people who have met "the one", and are blessed to spend the rest of their lives with them. But what if you THINK he's "the one"? Are you willing to compromise with some of his faults, some faults that you KNOW on a normal day you can't take?

I am all for marriage, but I am also all for TAKING MY TIME, PRAYER and LEARNING FROM OTHERS. Prayer is definitely the most important thing because if God has not spoken to you and given you some kind of confirmation (whether it's through family or friends), then I don't know what you are doing walking down the aisle with that person.

One thing that I am learning over time is that if I don't look out for myself, who will? I will not sacrifice my happiness just so I can be part of a trend. Why be part of a crowd when you can stand out right? Take your time, there's nothing wrong with that. And also, for my Bible readers, marriage is not for everyone (and the single life is not for everyone either). Know your purpose.

Bear in mind, this is my opinion, so if you disagree, that's what leaving comments is for. Be an adult and just say how you feel.

Thanks.

Tattoo...

Last night, I was having a conversation with my boyfriend about tattoos. For those of you who know me, I have one of a dove holding an olive branch in its beak on my left wrist.

(a very blurry picture of my tattoo)

Now, for all my non-Bible readers, this symbolizes peace. I was going through a lot at that time, and I just needed something to look at to remind me that everything will be alright. I've heard that some people regret what they got (or just simply getting a tattoo in the first place). It's been two years since I got this, and each day I love it even more. So much so that I am getting another one THIS SUMMER! :) (they truly are addictive, but I promise that this will be my last one :P..it has to be, otherwise my mother...................................enough said.)

This post is just my thoughts on tattoos in general. I love them, when they are done in taste. When there is a story behind them, I have a lot more respect for them.

Now, I am learning not to judge people, but this question has been bugging me for a while: to the ladies, why oh WHY would you want to get some BIG tiger (or eagle, or flower WITH COLOR...those are the worst) on your right or left boob, or a snake winding around your thigh with the head ending at your crotch (yes, people are crazy)?! Or those patterns at the base of your spine (classic tramp stamp)? Or some Chinese (you think it means "love", but it actually means "kill"...ooo chile!)? And to the fellas (most men), PLEASE what is sexy in covering your WHOLE body in tattoos??? You look dirty, you look stupid, and it's just NASTY. Now those are the types of tattoos I will definitely regret.

Think before you do...PLEASE...because it hurts more to get it lasered off than it does getting it in the first place. Also, when you get older, you don't want to look at your wrinkly skin and have this ugly thing on you. #justsaying