To Be or Not To Be?

That REALLY is the question.

Right now, I am in a loving and very fulfilling relationship, which makes me very happy. As time goes on, I am learning that happiness is very important, no matter what.

From past experiences, I have also learnt not to settle. You will not catch me settling for some guy because he has money, or because he is cute. Everyone is different, but this is MY blog, so I say how I feel. Why marry a guy you KNOW will cheat on you? My past relationships have had good times, but the bad times outweighed the good, and I refuse to put myself through unhappiness, depression, and insecurity again because I don't want to be alone.

I say this, and some people might think that I am crazy: I'D RATHER BE SINGLE AND HAPPY THAN MARRIED AND UNHAPPY.

My mother and I were talking about Nigerian women (and women in general) and their husbands who cheat on them. I asked why they stay. And this is what my mother said:

"You have to think about it like it's a business transaction. What do you have to lose? If you leave him, and you have nothing, why bother? You are better off staying with him and spending his money, while he goes off and does his own thing. If you have your own money, then go ahead and leave him, and do YOUR thing. A lot of the women my [mother's] age didn't have anything when they got married, so they have a lot to lose (financially) if they leave their husbands."

As this beautiful woman was talking, I was praying to God that He should:
1) Make me rich
2) Give me a man who is faithful

Because if He doesn't, e be like say Imma be on my own. Seriously! I remember the heartache I went through in my past relationship, and the thought of it just makes my heart sink. I get really sad, and then I get mad...at myself. For staying and taking such rubbish.

But then it was just dating. Marriage is a different story. If the guy is cheating, it is worse because you can't leave. Marriage vows say, "For better or worse...'til death do you part." The Bible says in black and white, "Do not commit adultery" (Ex. 20:14). But if he/she commits adultery, you still have to stay. Ugh! Things just gotta be complicated for no reason.

To cut the long story short, DO NOT CHEAT. I don't know why you gotta have your cake and eat it too. You chose this man/woman to spend the rest of your life with, now do the right thing and be faithful. Easier said than done, right? But with God, all things are possible. Put Him first, and there won't be a problem.

A lot of things can be avoided if God is put first. He will give you someone who is compatible spiritually, financially, emotionally etc. I am not worried about getting married because I trust what He has planned, whether it is to stay single or to be married (1 Cor. 7:1-40 really breaks it down for us).

Sorry if it sounds like I am preaching, but that's the only way I can get the message across.

I pray everyone finds that "person", the one who God has designed SPECIALLY FOR YOU. Because that's all I want. And with constant prayer and walking with God, that's what I'll get.

Good night all.

Where's the Fire...?

I have been meaning to write this post for the longest time, but I have been so busy with school. I have this beautiful 1700-word paper to write about cultural differences and culture shock. Too much information, not enough drive to write. I'm seriously hoping that the paper will write itself...it won't? No? *Sigh* I will get back to it soon...UGH!!

Anyway, I digress.

I don't know if it's just me, but over the past few years people have been getting engaged/married at the drop of a hat. Yes, we are at that age...but does that mean we must marry by force?

I know of so many people (and I have heard so many stories) who dated for the usual two and a half years (sometimes more), got engaged, and got married...................................................then divorced two years later. And you wonder where they went wrong. There are women who are surrounded by friends who are engaged, and they feel that they must be next. So they start hinting to their boyfriends that marriage is the next step. The guy feels the pressure, you finally marry, and then three months into it, there are problems. Can I just ask you a question: where is the fire?

Seriously, what is the rush? Just because you are at that age, doesn't mean that is your time.

Don't get me wrong there are some people who have met "the one", and are blessed to spend the rest of their lives with them. But what if you THINK he's "the one"? Are you willing to compromise with some of his faults, some faults that you KNOW on a normal day you can't take?

I am all for marriage, but I am also all for TAKING MY TIME, PRAYER and LEARNING FROM OTHERS. Prayer is definitely the most important thing because if God has not spoken to you and given you some kind of confirmation (whether it's through family or friends), then I don't know what you are doing walking down the aisle with that person.

One thing that I am learning over time is that if I don't look out for myself, who will? I will not sacrifice my happiness just so I can be part of a trend. Why be part of a crowd when you can stand out right? Take your time, there's nothing wrong with that. And also, for my Bible readers, marriage is not for everyone (and the single life is not for everyone either). Know your purpose.

Bear in mind, this is my opinion, so if you disagree, that's what leaving comments is for. Be an adult and just say how you feel.

Thanks.

Tattoo...

Last night, I was having a conversation with my boyfriend about tattoos. For those of you who know me, I have one of a dove holding an olive branch in its beak on my left wrist.

(a very blurry picture of my tattoo)

Now, for all my non-Bible readers, this symbolizes peace. I was going through a lot at that time, and I just needed something to look at to remind me that everything will be alright. I've heard that some people regret what they got (or just simply getting a tattoo in the first place). It's been two years since I got this, and each day I love it even more. So much so that I am getting another one THIS SUMMER! :) (they truly are addictive, but I promise that this will be my last one :P..it has to be, otherwise my mother...................................enough said.)

This post is just my thoughts on tattoos in general. I love them, when they are done in taste. When there is a story behind them, I have a lot more respect for them.

Now, I am learning not to judge people, but this question has been bugging me for a while: to the ladies, why oh WHY would you want to get some BIG tiger (or eagle, or flower WITH COLOR...those are the worst) on your right or left boob, or a snake winding around your thigh with the head ending at your crotch (yes, people are crazy)?! Or those patterns at the base of your spine (classic tramp stamp)? Or some Chinese (you think it means "love", but it actually means "kill"...ooo chile!)? And to the fellas (most men), PLEASE what is sexy in covering your WHOLE body in tattoos??? You look dirty, you look stupid, and it's just NASTY. Now those are the types of tattoos I will definitely regret.

Think before you do...PLEASE...because it hurts more to get it lasered off than it does getting it in the first place. Also, when you get older, you don't want to look at your wrinkly skin and have this ugly thing on you. #justsaying

"I Am Anti-Commitment"

"Love is a bitch. Pain is a whore. Misery is the motherfucker that won’t leave me alone."

Ever see the movie "He's Just Not That Into You" (the book has the same name)? They were definitely not lying when all those excuses meant the same thing: "I'm not into you".

Unfortunately, I fell for it. I really liked this guy, we started off as friends. The communication was not really there, but the sexual chemistry...WOW is all I can say. We became "exclusive", or so I thought. One day, after "talking" for 6 months, I asked him what was going on between us and why after all this time, we were still at the "talking stage". This fool said he's been burnt before, and he doesn't want to get hurt again. He said that he is anti-commitment, and he wants to stay that way. He might as well have just said, "I CLEARLY don't like you enough to be with you".

The sad part is that that should have been the biggest red flag for me to run in the opposite direction. But I stayed. And the longer I stayed, the more I was hurting myself, and the dumber I felt.

Now I knew where he was coming from when he said he's been burnt before, because I have been there. But that doesn't mean you still shouldn't give relationships a chance. We are not the same, and if you have been hurt more than once, then maybe you should take a look at yourself, and find out the kind of people you attract. #justsaying

To anyone reading this, learn from me: Greg Behrendt was not lying. Go and watch the movie, and look at the excuses. Call me naive, but I am a firm believer in if a guy/girl likes you enough to be with you, he/she will make it happen. All those excuses are just a "round about" way of saying "I'm not into you".




Disclaimer: I am definitely not anti-commitment, as you can see from my last post. So all ideas about me being a mad, black woman should quickly be removed. Please and thank you.

God is Beaming :D

I have been through a lot these past two years. My last relationship lasted a year and a half, and until it ended, I thought he was going to be my husband.

Then it ended, and for the next year of my life, I went through pain and heartache. I thought my world was over, I thought there was no one else out there for me. AND GOD HAD FORGOTTEN ABOUT ME. But then, I thought about that year and a half, and realized that I forced so much of the relationship. I loved him, but it was so fast, and very unhealthy. It started so wrong, we weren't friends first, it was a lot of sexual chemistry, and very little emotional connection and friendship. The pain and heartache were very necessary to move on, otherwise I would be hanging on to something that is no longer there.

For the past year, I have been on several unfulfilling dates. There was always something missing with them. From passion to conversation, it just was not working. I met someone who was a "friend", but with him, he made it so hard to meet other people. I liked him and wanted a relationship, but he was anti-commitment. Where people get that crock of RUBBISH from is beyond me (will save it for another post). I just gave up, and decided to focus more on me, loving me, loving my own company. And it was so much fun.

Then he came along.

When I met him the first time, I thought to myself, "This is not someone I want to be with." But we became friends really quickly. Talking to him is easy, he understands. Yes, we have our disagreements, but we agree to disagree. We talk about everything, from family to where we want to be in 10 years. He's passionate about life, he has dreams, and he's definitely working on making them come true. Like other guys I have dated (which I consider to be a disadvantage), he's well-known. On a normal day, I would not even think twice to saying "hell no".

But clearly this is no normal day. My LIFE is not normal. And I am happy with that.

I am happy. He is part of my happiness. I love being around him, I love talking to him, I love kissing him, I love holding his hands, his words of wisdom just make my day. His drive is inspiring.

One day, I was asking myself how I got so lucky, when my BFF (another wise young woman) said, "it's not that you are lucky. It's that God is smiling on you."

I protested, "So He wasn't smiling on me before?!" And she smiled and said, "He was smiling on you before, but now, He is beaming."

Kodak moment...

That's my mum and me. My dad had a really cool camera that captured so many random moments, and this was one of them. I look exactly like my mum here (except better...hehe). And I have ONE question, and I will let it go FOREVER: Why on Earth am I not yellow like that anymore???? I asked my mum what lotion she used, and she said it was Johnson & Johnson Baby Lotion. I am about to go to the nearest CVS store and buy every bottle.

I need to find all the pictures my dad took, because they are priceless.

I can't stop staring at the picture because it just makes me smile.

ADG™

Welcome!

Hello Everyone,

Welcome to Sixteen 03, a blog dedicated to anything ME. Now, I know that there are a gazillion and one blogs about anything and everything from everywhere, but I'm going to try and be different.

The name of the website looks very....random. But the date is very close to my heart. The 16th of March is my father's birthday. Now, as some of you know, he passed away when I was very young, and I never got the chance to know him like most people have. But with this blog as a dedication to him and what he has done, and with God's unconditional grace and blessing on my life, I hope to make this blog as successful as it can be. Now that Obama is President, there is no excuse not to do my best lol.

So to my father, Oladele Giwa, I hope you're proud.

Now let's get it started!!!!!!